Greetings all,

It has been about 3 years since I last posted anything on this blog!! I am trying to figure it out again as if it is the first time!! Below you will find my first message in a series on Addiction. I am using the 12 steps of AA as a guide and using Gerald May's book Addiction and Grace and Richord Rohr's book Breathing Underwater as resources.

12 Steps – Alcoholics Anonymous

1.         We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2.         Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.         Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4.         Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5.         Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6.         Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7.         Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8.         Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9.         Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10.       Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11.       Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12.       Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Let us Pray:  May the God of Peace make you whole and holy, may you be kept safe in body, mind and heart and thus be ready to receive the invitation of the Holy spirit, to become truly humble in the presence of God. For we are called by God to love one another as ourselves and to love God and all of creation. Hear now these words, crafted from my heart. May they be worthy of your presence in our lives O Lord. Amen. (1 Thessalonians 5)

Addiction – the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

synonyms:    dependency, dependence, obsession with, infatuation with, passion for, enslavement to

Gerald May, 20^th Cent Christian writer and leader and the author of Addiction and Grace defines addiction as “a state of compulsion, obsession, or preoccupation that enslaves a person’s will and desire” (p.14). It is the experience of “always wanting or a perception of needing more of the addictive behavior or object of attachment in order to feel satisfied” (p.26).

Attachments that we hold on to and then in turn begin to control us – may be work, food, anger, alcohol or drugs, but something that our ego desires so we might avoid, not deal with our inner struggles, our restoration to wholeness. “to find a false sense of love”   

          These attachments are like cancers that suck our life’s energy into specific obsessions, compulsions and attachments. (May)

Idolatry – holding up something that comes before God, before family and friends

Step One

1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

          I think a key word here is unmanageable, out of control – For AA it is alcohol, for others it may be food, an overabundance of work that takes us away from a balanced life, for others it may be anger – that which hides our inner true goals, our frustrations and perhaps a sense of failure. Either way, addictions distract us from looking inward, from living in Eden, the garden of delight which God intended for us to live in. Addiction enslaves us.         

But, the first step is to admit this!! To acknowledge that we are unable, on our own to step into the light of day.  How do we admit such a great fall?! We cannot heal what we do not first acknowledge.

Another word is powerless. Ever been to the grand canyon or sat at the bottom of a mountain. Look up at the night sky. We are small creatures. During Lent we pay attention to the 14 stations of the cross. Shedding our egos to truly walk with Jesus on the way to the cross.

Living in denial might work for a while. More alcohol, more food, more false happiness, but, if we are honest with ourselves denial betrays our God given life of goodness. In Matthew 7:3-5 Jesus explains this as being able to see the splinter in another ones eye but we miss the log that is in our own eyes.

Romans 7:15 I don’t know what I’m doing, because I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do the thing that I hate. 18 I know that good doesn’t live in me—that is, in my body. The desire to do good is inside of me, but I can’t do it.

Ever feel that way?! I know what is the right thing to do, but I just can not get around to changing my ways. 

We are powerless on our own. But when we allow God’s grace, God’s ever present love for us to become known in our hearts we may be able then to reach out in the darkness and find the company of others who share the darkness, and who admit to the darkness in them. Let God lead you by way of abandoning your pride, immersing yourself before God - through prayer, confession, tears, Holy conversation.

Isaiah 38: 12–14  CEB

My lifetime is plucked up and taken from me like a shepherd’s tent. My life is shriveled like woven cloth; God cuts me off from the loom. 13 I cried out until morning: 14 Like a swallow I chirp; I moan like a dove. Lord, I’m overwhelmed; support me!”

I am fallen. I cry out! I am humbled as never before. I either face continued dying or … Lord, I am overwhelmed; support me! And we reach out then to others experiencing a similar battle and/or to others for help. To look inside myself, to find a center – as Evelyn Underhill writes to find the center where I am anchored in God, in searching for the will of God in my life and in the life of my community.

“Any struggle to reform addictive behavior will surely lead us into a desert” (p. 146). This is because deciding to “quit” destructive behavior involves willingly depriving oneself of that which day-to-day existence has depended. One’s feeling of security and well-being is overturned—leaving the person in deeply unknown and frightening territory. http://www.covenanteyes.com/2011/04/12/addiction-grace-love-and-spirituality-in-the-healing-of-addictions-book-review/

Step Two

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

          A leap of faith. We have come to believe.

These steps are not isolated from each other. We do not do step one and then leave it behind. A friend of mine has been sober for over 40 years. Yet, still feels called to attend AA meetings almost everyday or night. So, it is for us, whatever our addiction we pray each day.

That which separates us from God and God’s intention of goodness for the universe is something that can be healed, cleansed and forgiven by grace. Like a disease that grows inside – a disease this makes it clear that there is the possibility of healing and transformation.

Step two requires surrender. And to surrender we need to open our minds, our opinionated head, our closed down heart and our defenses – the surface things that we think keep us going. You know, be strong, don’t cry, protect yourself from life. We cannot heal, be restored by hiding. There is a power that is greater than ourselves. That power is love, grace and learning to live in community with God at the center.